Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
