Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
