There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
it hurts more in the daytime
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
