We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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