she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Pants are for mortals
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
