Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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