haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
