I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
