My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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