i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
