So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
i think i just lost a toe
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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