Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
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i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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