my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize