Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
