You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
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It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
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He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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