All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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