The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
