He asked to "fluff my boner.."
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
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