Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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