I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Randomize
