I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
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