He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
