there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize