I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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