They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I need a burrito and a hug.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
