Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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