I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
