Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
