I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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