Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
