so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
