you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
