The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
