Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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