Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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