Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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