I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
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My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
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I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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