Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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