Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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