She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
