woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
This is classic penis vs brain.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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