Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
