Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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