Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
