Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize