Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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