I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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