So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
