thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize