So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
