SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize