i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
