We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Girls should come with a carfax report
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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