You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
