eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Randomize
