Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
