you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Randomize
