i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize