Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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