I wish i was in the wii world.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
