Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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