watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
zippers are such a cool invention
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
